Sunday

evening 
plan 


Soothe– 
do 
some 
calming 
activities 
and 
make 
the 
last 
things 
at 
night 
soothing 
– 
gentle 
music, 
story 
for 
younger 
ones, 
soft 
lighting, 
talk 
about 
3 
good 
things 
before 
bed. 
Understand– 
make 
sure 
you 
let 
them 
know 
that 
you 
do 
understand 
their 
feelings 
and 
you 
do 
not 
negate 
of 
dismiss 
them 
-you 
understand 
how 
hard 
it 
is 
but 
it 
will 
get 
better 
in 
time! 
Develop 
your 
script 
for 
this 
if 
appropriate. 



Neutralise– 
record 
any 
worries 
in 
a 
worry 
book 
and 
then 
talk 
through 
each 
one 
helping 
the 
child 
to 
see 
a 
solution/where 
they 
are 
catastrophising 
and 
show 
them 
the 
evidence 
against 
any 
irrational 
thoughts/thinking 
patterns. 


Decide– 
on 
a 
plan 
of 
action 
and 
go 
through 
it 
step 
by 
step 
– 
this 
is 
what 
we 
will 
do 
tomorrow. 
Work 
out 
the 
schedule 
and 
ensure 
that 
everything 
is 
ready 
– 
book, 
bag, 
PE 
kit 
etc 
and 
laid 
out 
for 
the 
next 
morning. 
Make 
the 
plan 
visual 
if 
needed. 


Attend– 
be 
vigilant 
to 
the 
child’s 
emotional 
state 
and 
give 
more 
time 
if 
they 
need 
it 
so 
that 
they 
feel 
nurtured 
and 
safe. 
Give 
reassurance 
and 
a 
transitional 
object 
for 
younger 
children. 


Yourself– 
look 
after 
yourself 
and 
make 
sure 
that 
you 
are 
regulated 
and 
feel 
calm 
yourself. 
Engage 
in 
some 
relaxation 
and 
take 
time 
out 
after 
the 
bedtime 
routine 
for 
you 
to 
build 
up 
your 
own 
resources 
and 
remember 
that 
it 
is 
ok 
to 
feel 
worried 
but 
don’t 
let 
it 
overwhelm 
you. 



Copyright 
@DrTinarae 



Monday

morning 
plan 


Manage

– 
manage 
yourself 
FIRST! 
This 
is 
not 
selfish. 
This 
is 
not 
selfish. 
You 
cannot 
support 
a 
child 
or 
young 
person 
who 
is 
unregulated 
and 
stressed 
if 
you 
are 
too. 
Take 
time 
to 
sort 
your 
own 
needs 
and 
then 
manage 
your 
emotional 
state 
by 
using 
your 
usual 
stress 
management 
tools 
e.g. 
grounding/time 
alone/Mindfulness 
etc. 
Organise


– 
get 
everything 
ready 
( 
by 
getting 
up 
earlier) 
so 
the 
bags 
are 
in 
the 
hallway, 
the 
breakfast 
is 
set 
up 
and 
you 
own 
things 
for 
work/whatever 
you 
need 
are 
all 
organised. 
This 
means 
that 
you 
can 
attend 
to 
the 
child 
and 
do 
so 
in 
a 
regulated 
manner. 
Neutralise– 
spend 
some 
time 
with 
your 
child 
talking 
through 
any 
worries 
and 
again 
helping 
them 
to 
see 
a 
solution/where 
they 
are 
catastrophising 
and 
show 
them 
the 
evidence 
against 
any 
irrational 
thoughts/thinking 
patterns. 


Decide– 
this 
is 
the 
plan 
– 
make 
it 
clear 
to 
them 
that 
you 
have 
a 
plan 
to 
get 
to 
school, 
how 
you 
will 
get 
here, 
what 
music 
you 
might 
listen 
to 
in 
the 
car/stories 
you 
might 
tell 
to 
each 
other 
on 
the 
bus/as 
you 
walk/who 
else 
might 
be 
with 
you 
etc 
so 
that 
it 
all 
becomes 
clear 
and 
they 
feel 
prepared 
for 
each 
step. 


Accept

– 
accept 
the 
child’s 
emotional 
state 
and 
give 
them 
reassurance 
that 
you 
love 
and 
care 
for 
them 
so 
that 
they 
feel 
nurtured 
and 
safe. 
Give 
reassurance 
and 
a 
transitional 
object 
for 
younger 
children. 
It 
is 
okay 
to 
feel 
anxious, 
but 
we 
all 
need 
to 
manage 
it 
and 
I 
will 
help 
you. 
I 
am 
with 
you 
and 
will 
stay 
with 
you 
while 
you 
need 
me. 
Yourself– 
againlook 
after 
yourself 
and 
make 
sure 
that 
you 
are 
regulated 
and 
feel 
calm 
yourself. 
Engage 
in 
some 
relaxation 
and 
remember 
that 
it 
is 
ok 
to 
feel 
worried 
but 
don’t 
let 
it 
overwhelm 
you. 
keep 
using 
the 
script 
– 
if 
I 
stay 
calm, 
I 
will 
make 
him/her 
feel 
safe. 


Copyright 
@DrTinarae